It's really hard to change hats from the parent hat to the friend hat. Especially when you see your child going through something you think you know something about--you want to jump in and share what you know. Sometimes I'm just totally out of line. I hate that. Sometimes I'm talking too much. When that happens, please know this: I am not that invested in your doing it the way I said you should, I just want you to listen and think about what I said and then make up your own mind. I will appreciate your listening.
The thing is, Lance Wallnau makes the point that if the parent is telling the child what to do, he's wearing the wrong hat and that shuts off discussion. I want to be a listener. That used to be one of my greatest strengths. I wish God could get me back to the person I was when I was 14. I could walk up to anybody and say anything that was on my mind and I seemed to know when that was the wise thing to do and I seemed to know the wise thing to say. The rest of the time I was quiet and listened a lot. Now I'm too much of a coward so I second guess myself and then when I speak up I'm a fail about half the time and I don't say whatever it is wisely or concisely.
Maybe one of these days God will get me back to what I was and bring me to where I should have come. The reason I didn't get there to start with is because one day when I was about 15 my Dad told me I was "good for nothing" and I believed him. It was the believing him part that ruined my life. That belief that I was good for nothing lodged in my heart like a poison arrow and the poison seeped into every aspect of my being--my attitude about myself, my attitude about whether or not I deserved to become a successful artist or successful at anything, whether or not a cute popular guy would keep dating me once he found out my true personality--it still follows me to this day tainting everything.
The big shift happened when we lived on Euclid in Albuquerque and I gave my life to God again. That's when He poured into me words about how He saw me. He saw me as a queen in His kingdom; He saw me as talented and competent; He saw me successful and blessed. Later, He told me that my books would be wildly popular--more popular than the Harry Potter series. He told me a lot of humongously amazing things. I haven't seen them happen yet, but on the other hand, I really only have one book out there for anybody to read. He's told me that for 2016 He'll do the work promoting my newest book and the previous one. I think He'll do a way better job than I ever could. He has a host of angels who can go out and get that done.
God has been good to me. I have six wonderful children. I don't want to be irrelevant when I get older. I want to be your friend. I hope you'll give me the chance to be a better listener and do less advising.
